From diets to carnage...

A continuation of the death theme from below: I witnessed the slaying of three pigs last week. Three. This is how it's done:

Step 1: Get two Americans who have never seen pigs killed brutally before.
Step 2: Send three Pinoys into the pig pen, one with an axe that is much larger in the story-teller's memory than it was in reality.
Step 3: Slam the selected pig victim on the noggin with the blunt end of the axe.
Step 4: Laugh at Katrina the American who is gasping in shock at the brutality and suddenness of it all.
Step 5: Remove the stunned and unknowing pig from the pen (with the help of the three Pinoys inside).
Step 6: Slit throat of pig. Just like that.
Step 7: Say "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew" in a very shrill, girlish scream if you are named Katrina.
Step 8: Laugh at the American saying "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew" in a very shrill, girlish manner if you are one of nine Filipino onlookers.
Step 9: Cut up pig and eat for fiesta.
Step 10: Repeat.