My Plan to Revolutionize T.V.

A list of stunt ideas for Filipino Fear Factor:

1. Put six people on a 3-man motorcycle, with contestant sidesaddle on the handlebars, and ride to upper barangay X, distance 9 miles through mountains.
2. Eat a plate of kinilaw (raw fish) with only the hands while sharing with eight street children from Manila.
3. Don't wash with antibacterial soap for three days.
4. Bathe in a pool of stagnant street water in Tacloban
5. Swim laps in the canals of Baybay during the dry season when the fresh water has nearly all evaporated and the color and consistency of what remains is a thick, black tar.
6. Go on a date with a shirtless man who constantly rubs his overwieght belly and strokes his cock fighting rooster
7. Kiss a man for 20 seconds who has only two teeth and no toothbrushing implements
8. Give birth with no doctor or meds readily available
9. Sit in a dengue-infested shanty town and write a letter to a friend you haven't caught up with in a really long time.

Given the immense amount of time I have, I also wanted to try my hand at writing a screenplay, and I gave it a fair shot when I scripted my own episode of The Filipino Office. It went something like this:

Bong Bong: Dong, wa koy gusto magtrabaho kay nasakit ang akong lubot. (nag-papershred siya sa lamesa)
Dodong: Bong, ayaw ka reklamo. Dapat unta magandam ang imong report para sa karon buwan. Di ka mogamit imong lubot pagsuwat, di ba? (nagkatawa siya sa iyahang yaga-yaga)

Hahahahahaaaaaa!

The plot summary would go something like this: Boss doesn't show up to work. Again. Coworkers take naps on the tables and do Tai Bo in the office because they have no work. Again. Lots and lots of illegal logging cases go unfiled and thus remain unresolved for years at a time. Again. Katrina comes into the office and paints her nails with her coworker. Again. And two people lose their jobs because they got pregnant and cannot work to their full ability because their jobs are so demanding.