Series of Random Texts Part I

These texts to various friends nearby chronicle the past 48 hours of Katrina's life. Note, Hurricane Drunken Stupor, locally known as the Himokilan Island Fiesta of 2006, just ended.

1: Today it is culturally acceptable for me to drink beer. It's fiesta yayayayayaaaaay! Which means I, in fact, MUST drink beer to help me digest the nine pounds of pig fat I will consume. I often wonder why people here are confused when their friends and loved ones develop diabetes, high blood pressure, and irritable bowel syndrome in their late twenties. In my mind, the words "you eat now, then drink this" don't have positive implications for a healthy diet.

2: The disco is starting. I am wearing pretty high-heeled shoes, which is good because for the first time my host family won't ask me, "is that what you are wearing?", but it's BAD because I might fall down. Lots.

3: I seem to be missing my shoes. That song came on, that reggae one that everyone likes, you know the one. And shoes started flying and my shoes started flying and next thing I know I have no shoes and I'm break dancing on the floor and it's great but now I have no shoes.

4: We're all good. I found them. P.S. I got a puppy!

5: The drunken madness that ensued last night at my island's fiesta should shame me. Oh wait, IT DID. I ruled the dance floor and will forever be known as Katrina Saucy Pants Who Does the Worm and Other Stuff Too. My house is crawling with beasts because apparently during the debauchery I accepted a puppy to go along with my new kitten that I hate. They are not friends but I love my new little iro. I feed her so much that I feel like my host mother.

6: There are hubogs (drunks) outside my house. I ate three eggs today, but not the yolks. I gave those to my dog. This perhaps explains our collective horrible gas. Did I tell you that I got a dog? I did and she is fantastic. I also found a NEW new kitten on my doorstep, which, as it turns out, is the twin sister of my other new kitten that is unlovable. The strange thing is that the twin sister was thrown away in the ocean and left to die over a week ago by the neighborhood children...do you think this new kitten is like that cat in Mad House that just won't die? Anyway, I have now saved two kittens from despair and I regret it every day. The drunks want me to play. How do I say "THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN" in the dialect?